Worth
by Nitengalerocker
Summary: Pg13 for a couple of swear words...chya. Marissa gets pissed at ryan, after she found out about luke, before she goes to chino
1. Default Chapter

Worth Disclaimer: Don't own crap  
  
Marissa was pissed...  
  
No, maybe not pissed, but more like...disgusted, hurt, shocked, betrayed. Yep. That sounds about right. It was her mom...Luke knew what her mom was like. Why would he do that? It seemed like all Luke knew how to do was hurt her. But then...tonight wasn't all bad.  
  
She and Ryan had tried to stay away from each other, but old habits die hard. She thought they were connecting again, but really it was just a big scheme to get her out of town so that Luke could do God knows what with her mom. If Ryan knew, why wouldn't he just tell her? *Because everyone thinks you're unstable. They're afraid you're going to go nuts and overdose again* a voice inside her said. She knew that voice. That was the voice always pushing her to be better, saying she wasn't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. She knew most of the time it was crap...but this time. That voice was right. Everyone was always watching her, waiting for the moment Marissa Cooper would screw up again. They treated her like she was porcelain, don't hurt Marissa's feelings, she might overdose and befriend a psycho again. Well, she had had enough of this crap. If she were sure of one thing, it was her and Ryan.  
  
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Ryan felt horrible.  
  
He hated seeing that look on Marissa's face, that look of betrayal, and shock. If he had just gone to her in the first place...no that would have hurt her just as much. God, why did Luke always have to go and mess everything up? But then, maybe it was good that he showed up when he did. God know what would have happened if he didn't. He and Marissa connected again that night. It was fun to be with her. Before all of that Oliver drama, for once in his life, he had been having fun. He loved seeing her happy, and tonight, she was happy. Well, for a part of it at least. Tonight had him thinking that maybe, with some work, he and Marissa could work again. But then, Oliver came into his head. Marissa messed up badly with the whole Oliver situation. She didn't trust him; sure he had done some crazy stuff, like break into her locker and look up Oliver's files. But shouldn't she have believed him? 


	2. Chapter 2

See first chapter for disclaimer.  
  
Driving up the Cohen driveway, Marissa was determined to make things work. It was late, past eleven, but she knew Ryan would be up. She walked around back toward the pool house. 'What am I doing' she thought to her self as she reached her had up to the glass pane.  
  
*knock knock*  
  
Ryan was sitting on his bed in his infamous wife beater and boxers. 'If that's Luke, I'm going to go psycho on his jock ass' he thought as he walked up to the door. Opening the door Ryan found a hopeful looking Marissa. He looked almost happy to see her. Marissa noticed the look on his face. Before she knew what she was doing, she launched herself into his arms and kissed him hard on the lips. 'Well, this is one way to do it' Marissa thought. Ryan was shocked, and well, a little happy. Who wouldn't be with a girl like this in his arms? But then; he started to remember...the one word that had torn them apart, the person that would never leave his thoughts...Oliver. He pushed her down and aimed his eyes towards the floor. Marissa was confused, but when she met Ryan's face, she knew. He was still angry at her because of Oliver. A look of sadness, then suddenly of realization flashed across her face.  
  
"God, are you ever going to just forgive me?" a peeved Marissa asked.  
  
Ryan was taken aback, "I thought we had talked about this"  
  
"Ryan, I messed up, I know, alright! But who wouldn't of in my place. I was weak and hurt, and it was like he knew what I was going through. You were being so perfect. I felt like you were too good for me."  
  
"Marissa..."  
  
"No, let me talk. I couldn't talk to you about the things I had did, because I messed up, and I knew I messed up, and I was afraid that I would mess you up right along with me. But then Oliver was there at the sessions, and he seemed to know exactly what I was going through, just right off the bat, and it was like, here is someone I can talk to about this stuff. And eventually he just sucked me in."  
  
"You could have came to me"  
  
"Just like you love to come to me and tell me about all your days in Chino?" Marissa crossed her arms.  
  
"That's not the same thing"  
  
"How is that not the same?? Chino is a time in your life you weren't proud of. Well Tijuana was that time for me. Oliver was willing to talk about his Chino and Tijuana. And soon, it just became like...He needed me. And then all that other crap happened. I'm sorry I didn't trust you, and I know there is no excuse for what I did, but hell, it's not like you never make mistakes. I mean...we all do, right?"  
  
"I just...I don't know how it can be the same again" Ryan sat down on his bed.  
  
"It doesn't have to be the same. It could be better. Listen Ryan, I know you still care about me, and I know you want me and you to work. The only thing keeping us apart is you, because you won't forgive me. And I just don't understand..." Marissa moved over next to Ryan on the bed.  
  
"I'm afraid, you know? We both put a lot into what we had. I've never done that before. I mean, with Theresa it was just fun and nothing serious and it was just....expected. But then with you it was like..."  
  
"Intense..."  
  
"Yeah, and then Oliver happened and something that was so passionate was falling apart. I got hurt Marissa, and I don't want to feel like that again."  
  
Marissa was shocked that Ryan had just told her all of this.  
  
"I can't promise you that you won't be hurt again, just like you can't promise me that I won't be hurt. I'm scared too, I'm scared that I'm going to hurt you, or myself again. But then every time I look at you...I remember, and it's just like...you're worth it. And if I'm not worth it to you, then I'll stop but..."  
  
"Marissa, you will always be worth it." Ryan stated quietly.  
  
"I guess what I'm asking is...am I worth forgiving? Are we worth this to you?" Marissa stood up. "I'm not asking for an answer now, but just...I wanted to ask you." She walked towards the door and turned back once to Ryan. Giving him a small smile, she left the pool house. 


	3. Chapter 3

............................................................................................................ Next morning  
  
"So what, I just forgive her and pretend like nothing happened?" Ryan was pacing, a nervous trait he had picked up from the Cohen's.  
  
"No, man...well, yes...maybe...I don't know! You know I think I liked it better when you were brood in the corner Ryan. The new Ryan is all...in tune with his feelings..." Seth shuddered.  
  
"Hey! I am totally not in tune with my feelings...I mean, well...kinda...now you got me all confused."  
  
"Ryan, listen, you like Marissa, Marissa obviously likes you...why don't you guys just leave it at that and see where things go from there? Now, how 'bout some X-box, all this talking about our 'feelings' has really taken a couple points of my masculinity scale, yanno?"  
  
"So, what, you're reading down into the negatives now?" Ryan joked.  
  
"Oh okay, passing up the broodiness, and now we're Mister Funny" Seth laughed as he and Ryan walked out of the Pool house. ............................................................................................................  
  
"I'm just so nervous...I mean, what if he really doesn't want me anymore, what if he never really felt for me like I did for him?" Marissa was pacing across the room as summer sat on the floor.  
  
"Come on, Coop, that boy did not spend his first weeks in Newport beating peoples asses so you guys could be 'friends'." Summer looked up from her emery board and nails long enough to roll her eyes.  
  
"I know, but what if he changed his mind? I mean, what if he did feel that way, but doesn't anymore. What if I just totally threw myself at him, and he doesn't even like me?"  
  
"Coop, get your Chanel panties out of a bunch, you know Ryan still wants you. He has that whole 'I'm so broody and serious...come hither' look thing whenever you walk into the room."  
  
"Oh my god, Sum, you did not just say 'come hither'" Marissa laughed as Summer threw a pillow at her.  
  
"It was the right word for the moment. Now come on, I've got all 6 episodes of the Valley on DVD. It's not going to watch itself!" Summer explained as she marched Marissa right out of the room. 


	4. Chapter 4

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Next day at school.  
  
"So, Ryan, what are you going to do? Are you going to talk to her? Are you going to wait?"  
  
"I don't know man, I think I'll just, let things happen."  
  
"Well, you better let them happen fast, because here they come..." Ryan jerked his head up.  
  
"Hey Cohen, hey Ryan." Summer greeted as she went over to Seth.  
  
"Hey Summery...Marissa..." Ryan looked over to Marissa nervously.  
  
"Hey, guys" Marissa replied.  
  
"Well, as much as we'd like to stay and keep this awkward moment going, we've got history, see you kids later." Seth and summer walked off together.  
  
"So, we've got that English test today" Ryan looked around as he tried to make small talk.  
  
"Uh, yeah, supposed to be pretty hard..."  
  
"Look Marissa, this is getting us nowhere, do you want to just leave or something?" Ryan seemed anxious.  
  
"Uh, yeah that would be okay, we could go to the pier or something." Marissa added  
  
"Alright, let's go."  
  
............................................................................................................ At the Pier.  
  
"I'm in love with you Ryan, I know things can't go back to the way they were, being so intense and all, but... you know how I feel. I just, want to know where you stand, I guess."  
  
"I really don't know what it is that I feel for you, I mean, I've never really been in love, except maybe with..." Ryan trailed off.  
  
"Theresa" Marissa filled in for him.  
  
"Yeah, but I mean, I don't know if that was love or not, she was my best friend, yanno? But I do know that I really, really like you, I would do anything for you, and its like I can't get you out of my head. From the first time I saw you I was just...in shock I guess..."  
  
"There's no getting rid of me is there..." Marissa joked.  
  
"Yeah well, I do try, but you always manage to find me, how do you do it?" They both laughed.  
  
"See I missed this, us just laughing and having fun together...I wish we could go ba....I mean, I wish we could just fast forward these next couple of months, that is, depending on this conversation" Marissa looked up at Ryan. "I really think we should try this again,"  
  
"I want to....maybe we could just slow it down, start over....but not....I don't know, we shouldn't forget about what happened, because I don't think I'd be able to. What happened with Oliver was big, and I'm just slowly starting to forgive you, and it will take time to learn to trust you again. Maybe....how 'bout, I take you out Friday night. Just a simple casual date, we'll go see the new Kill Bill, or something."  
  
"I'd really like that Ryan, thank you, for...you know." Marissa reached out and hugged Ryan.  
  
"Well, I can't really say I like this better then the other times you've greeted me, but this works just fine."  
  
"You know, Newport really does just take the brood straight out of people" Marissa smiled as she walked toward the car.  
  
"I was never broody! Mysterious maybe, but...hey get back here!" Ryan hurriedly caught up with her.  
  
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"So I'm taking her out on Friday..."  
  
"All that lovely teenaged angst and now you're going on a date?" Seth looked shocked as he turned off the faucet.  
  
"Well, what did you expect?" Ryan dried off the last dish.  
  
"I kind of expected you two to be in the pool house fornicating like bunnies, or whatever it was you two always did in there." Seth cringed as the picture flashed through his mind.  
  
"Nah, man, it's not like that. Its not like we can just go back to the way things were, we've decided to slowly.....I don't know, like get back into it. I guess..."  
  
"Come on, man, you and Marissa? I totally want to be like, supportive best friend here, but I mean, you couldn't not touch her if there was a brick wall between you."  
  
"Aw come on, where's the faith?" Ryan laughed as he shoved Seth into the counter.  
  
"Alright, here's the deal, you have no lip contact with Marissa for one week, and I will clean the pool house every day for a month, if I win, you clean my room for a month." Seth stuck out his hand.  
  
"It's on," Ryan said as he took Seth's hand.  
  
"Hey boys," Kirsten walked into the room carrying a box of decorations. "Is there any chance I can get you guys to help set up for this Benefit tomorrow night?"  
  
"Is there ever a time when there aren't any benefits going on?" Ryan asked.  
  
"No, never, we put our suits and freshly pressed dinner jackets and khaki's to good use."  
  
"Great, I knew there was a reason people wanted to live here" Ryan sarcastically remarked. 


	5. Chapter 5

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"Kiki, your place looks absolutely gorgeous, doesn't it Juju? Sandy how are you." Caleb smiled.  
  
"Yes, Kirsten, who did you hire for this?" Julie added.  
  
"Well, actually it was more of a home effort than anything, but thank you." Kirsten smiled as she hugged her father.  
  
Sandy leaned in to whisper in his wife's ear, "Alright, what's going on, Caleb is being civil."  
  
"Don't ask, you might jinx it," Kirsten replied.  
  
"Seth, you're looking as handsome as ever, and who is this lovely girl beside you?"  
  
"Uh thanks, Grandpa, and this is Summer, my girlfriend. So Grandpa, what's with the good mood today?"  
  
"What, I can't be in a good mood once in a while?" Caleb laughed at his comment.  
  
"Oh no you can," reply Sandy, "you just normally choose not to."  
  
"Well it's a brand new day. I've got my lovely daughters, My wonderful Juju, and my family, new and old."  
  
"Dad, what are you talking about?" Kirsten stepped closer to hear his answer as everyone else gathered around.  
  
"Well, I guess now's as good a time as any, what do you say Juju, should we tell them?"  
  
"Tell us what Caleb," Sandy crossed his arms.  
  
"Juju and I are going to get married..." Caleb smiled as he kissed Julie on the cheek.  
  
Ryan looked over at Marissa. She had an unreadable message on her face, but Ryan thought he knew what it meant.  
  
"You've got to be kidding me." Marissa stalked off towards the pool house followed by a concerned Ryan.  
  
"Marissa!" Julie called after.  
  
"Don't worry Juju, she'll get used to it." Caleb assured.  
  
"So, what...Marissa's going to be like...my step aunt? That's a little too creepy for me." Seth shivered as he and Summer walked off arm in arm.  
  
"The Gruesome twosome strike again. The wonders never cease" Sandy and Kristen walked away.  
  
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In the Pool House.  
  
"Marissa...hey," Ryan comes in to find Marissa lying on the bed, "How are you doing..." He joins her.  
  
"I don't know. This is all just so messed up. I mean, like, part of me is like...Ding dong the witch is gone, right? But then there's this other part that still expects my parents to just get back together and pretend like nothing ever happened. That none of all this lying, and Luke and Caleb ever happened. God, he doesn't even know about my mom and Luke, and she's just going to lie to Him." Marissa curled into Ryan's side. "I'm glad you're here with me though"  
  
"I'll always be here, you know that." Ryan found himself having a hard time not to ravage Marissa on his bed, but he really wanted to win that bet...*Girl, Pool house, Girl Pool house...Girl....uh what was the other thing?* He found himself staring into Marissa's eyes. "Hey!" Ryan suddenly sat up "You know what we should do? Uh...go have dinner, with Summer and Seth, how does that sound?"  
  
"Um...okay" Marissa got up looking confused "Just give me a minute to freshen up?"  
  
"Yeah," Ryan rubbed the back of his neck "I'll uh, go get Summer and Seth and we'll meet out by your car?"  
  
"Okay..." Marissa raised her eyebrow at Ryan's weird antics.  
  
Ryan walked out the pool house door in a hurry before he decided to change his mind. *alright, that was a little close* ............................................................................................................  
  
Next day at school  
  
"Hey, Marissa, what's going on? You seen Summer?" Seth ran up to Marissa.  
  
"Uh, not today, can I ask you a question?" Marissa stopped at her locker so they could talk.  
  
"Go for it"  
  
"Does it seem like Ryan's acting a little distant towards me?"  
  
Seth's eyes widened. "Uh, I don't know what you mean..."  
  
"Like at lunch the other day, it was all I could do to get him to hold my hand, and before that, we were on his bed, together, and he barely touched me!"  
  
*Man, maybe he is taking this bet all the way* "Uh...I don't know what to tell you, I mean maybe he was totally serious about the whole starting off slow thi..."  
  
'Oh cut the crap Seth, we both know that Ryan's slow is still pretty fast. What's really going on?" Marissa leaned against her locker and crossed her arms.  
  
"Alright, promise you won't get mad?" Marissa nodded her head in anticipation. "Well, me and him kind of made a deal...actually more like a bet."  
  
Marissa's eyebrows raised, "What kind of bet?"  
  
"The kind of bet where he can't kiss you for a week, and if he does he cleans my room" Seth cringed as he waited for a blow from Marissa. He looked up and all he saw was Marissa's smiling face. "Oh no, what are you....Marissa please don't"  
  
"What? I'm not going to do anything wrong, I'm just going to make sure you win that bet." Marissa said with a smirk on her face.  
  
"Well, in that case, go Auntie Marissa." Seth stuck his fist in the air.  
  
"Seth Cohen, don't you ever call me that again!" ............................................................................................................  
  
Authors Note: Hey guys, thanks so much for reviewing!!! It really means a lot to me that you all like this. So the next part may take a while, because I'm going to Vegas, but it won't take more than...two weeks...I promise. Alright, keep reading and reviewing. 


	6. Authors Note

Authors note:  
  
Hey Everyone!! I am so sorry for not updating. Here's what happened; After my trip to Vegas I came back and started finishing up the most recent part, my computer started acting funny, so I had my dad come and take a look at it. He said he needed to like, reconfigure it or something, so I said okay. Little did I know that when he would reconfigure it, all of my documents would be lost. So I lost the entire story. But it doesn't stop there. The internet on my computer stopped working, it said the modem wasn't connected or something like that. So it's taken my dad a couple of weeks to re download MSN and see why it wasn't working, but now I'm finally back on. So I have to rewrite the next chapter, and I don't know how long that will take, so bear with me please. I'm really sorry about this.  
  
-Nitengalerocker 


End file.
